


moral of the story

by cloudykozume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Crying, Divorce, Fighting, Fights, M/M, Moral of the story, OOC, Sad Ending, Song fic, Unhealthy Relationships, break ups, iwaoi - Freeform, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudykozume/pseuds/cloudykozume
Summary: Oikawa Tooru was like the sun. Warm and bright, giving life to everyone he shone upon. He was gorgeous and lovable, he was perfect. But above all else, Tooru was dangerous, that much was obvious to Hajime.So why was he so involved?
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Iwaizumi Hajime
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	moral of the story

_ So I never really knew you. God, I really tried to. Blindsided, addicted. _

Oikawa Tooru was like the sun. Warm and bright, giving life to everyone he shone upon. He was gorgeous and lovable, he was perfect. But above all else, Tooru was dangerous, that much was obvious to Hajime.

So why was he so involved?

Hajime was sucked in by his overwhelming heat, his eyes were the source of it. They were brown, nothing special. But they drew Hajime in like a moth to a lamp. 

Tooru and Hajime met at a young age, he was immediately entranced by Tooru’s smile, his sharp gazes, and his charm. He could wrap anyone he wanted around his finger, he was so manipulative. Hajime knew it all too well, so why did he stay? The answer is simple, he was in love.

Hajime tried so hard to get a peek under Tooru’s mask, but he never could. He just let himself believe that Tooru was presenting his true self, he let himself believe that Tooru was in love with him, he let himself believe that they were happy.

He was so blinded by Tooru’s smile and his stupid way with words that he didn’t realize that he was burning. He wasn’t on fire, not just yet, but he was burning. The heat only got worse as the years went by.

Hajime fell completely in love with Tooru. If Tooru was the sun, then Hajime was all of the planets that orbited around it. Tooru was the center of his solar system.

_ Felt we could really do this but really I was foolish. Hindsight it’s obvious. _

Hajime was hopeful that he could make things between him and Tooru work. He felt deep down that he could do it. They would be ok.

Tooru never seemed to give him any signs that he was unhappy, so Hajime felt that he was doing everything right. The confession was messy and awkward, the fear and anxiety nearly swallowed him whole but then Tooru smiled and suddenly he was weightless. Hajime had fallen so far down, he was stuck in this pit of messy emotions that he thought was love and admiration.

“I like you too, Hajime.” Tooru sounded so content. He even used his given name, which was a rare occurrence.

They kissed, Hajime felt everything crashing down on him all at once. He was so happy but so incredibly anxious at the same time. Tooru in the other hand felt nothing other than the chapped lips against his soft ones.

There were many kisses after that, many  _ many  _ late night make out sessions, countless phone calls and video chats, a few dates here and there, and suddenly a proposal.

After they graduated from university, Hajime invested in a silver engagement ring. He proposed to Tooru in their apartment after dinner, no surprise Tooru said yes. 

Hajime didn’t notice the fact that Tooru didn’t even smile through the entire proposal. 

_ Talking with my lawyer, she said, “Where’d you find this guy?” I said, “Young people fall in love with wrong people sometimes.” _

They both expected this, both of them knew it was coming. So why did it hurt this bad? 

Tooru slammed the papers down on Hajime’s desk along with a black pen. Hajime looked up at Tooru who was doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with him. Then his head slowly turned to the papers on his desk.

_ Please don’t be what I think it is. _

Divorce papers.

“Why?” Hajime stands up, clutching the papers in a tight fist, Tooru lunges for them but Hajime hold them out of his reach.

“You’re going to tear them!” Tooru bites out, still trying to steal the papers back.

Hajime doesn’t let up. “I don’t care! Tell me why! Why do you want to leave me?!”

“Hajime, this is ridiculous-“

“TELL ME WHY!”

“BECAUSE I DONT LOVE YOU!”

A deafening silence fell upon the two of them as Hajime stared at Tooru with wide eyes. The worst part about it was that Tooru didn’t even looked phased by his words. His eyes were lifeless and cold. He was cold, he wasn’t the sun like Hajime thought he was.

Oikawa Tooru was a black hole.

_ Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay. You can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain. Some mistakes get made, that’s alright, that’s ok. In the end it’s better for me, that’s the moral of the story, babe. _

Thinking back, Hajime didn’t even know what he was doing. He thought he had been a good boyfriend- a good  husband . He took care of Tooru, making sure he rested well and ate proper meals. Hajime looked after him when he was sick, giving him the right medication and the soup that his mom would feed him as a child. 

Hajime took care of the bills and the taxes, he did the laundry, cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms, he watered the garden. He did everything a good husband would. So why did it all feel so artificial? 

Was Hajime really in love with Tooru? He doesn’t know anymore, he doesn’t want to know. 

All he knows is that he was dependent on Tooru. He was clingy and in constant need of reassurance, and Tooru provided that reassurance for a while. But then his enthusiasm dulled down and the days got colder and colder. But at the same time, Hajime seemed to be getting burned more and more.

Tooru was then sun, the sun is a star, stars die, Tooru was dead. Not physically, but emotionally. And he brought Hajime down with him. 

_ It’s funny how memory turns into a bad dream, when running wild turns volatile. Remember when we painted our house? Just like my grandparents did, so romantic. But we fought the whole time. Should have seen the signs, yeah. _

Hajime remembers when they painted their house. Tooru didn’t care what color the house was but to Hajime, it meant everything. He wanted to paint their house together because it’s what his grandparents did and they lived a full life of love and happiness. Hajime thought he would too.

But things don’t always go as planned, especially if your name is Iwaizumi Hajime.

They argued the whole entire time. Tooru didn’t want to do this, he didn’t care, so his paint job reflected that. The walls were patchy and uneven. The paint drooped down onto the carpet where Tooru didn’t bother to lie newspaper over. 

Hajime scolded him for it and that sparked a fire inside of Tooru. He always had this glint in his eyes whenever they fought. Hajime really thought that Tooru liked it when they argued, because Tooru would be persistent. He would jab at all of Hajime’s insecurities and his pet peeves.

Tooru was very observant, and being an observant person means that you know exactly what buttons to push.

He talked about Hajime’s dad, he brought up the fact that they didn’t go to nationals, he poked fun at his blunt personality. All of the things that Hajime hated about himself, Tooru reminded him. 

_ Talking with my mother, she said, “Where’d you find this guy? I said, “Some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.” _

There were so many people in Hajime’s life and he loved them, he really did. He had fallen in love once or twice and he got his heart broken every single time. First there was Kuroo who had been so energetic and chaotic, Hajime couldn’t keep up. Then there was Daichi who was in love with Suga, but wanted to move on so he started something with Hajime. Obliviously that didn’t really work out.

Then there was Tooru, who he’d been in love with this whole entire time but chose to ignore it. And he really did love the others but he didn’t love them they way he loved Tooru.

So when his mother asked him why, why he had to fall in love with Tooru, he just said, “Some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.”

And she understood. She hurt for her son, her precious child that tried so hard to be good for Tooru. He was there for him always, but he wasn’t ever there for him. He was selfish, so so selfish. But even so, Hajime adored him, he would’ve died for Tooru. But his love wasn’t requited. He would have to accept that.

_ Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay. You can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain. Some mistakes get made, that’s alright, that’s ok. In the end it’s better for me, that’s the moral of the story, babe. _

Hajime wasn’t perfect, no one is. But still he tried to be. He tried so god damn hard and what was he getting in return? A simple kiss on the cheek, a absent minded hum, a minuscule, tiny smile. Tooru wasn’t grateful, he didn’t care about anything other that volleyball.

So Hajime snapped one evening. They were sitting down eating dinner in an uncomfortable silence. Tooru was eating like nothing was wrong but Hajime was clutching into his fork so hard that his knuckles were white. When he made eye contact with Tooru and Tooru rolled his eyes, that’s when Hajime lost all restraints.

They fought all evening long. Tooru ended up leaving Hajime alone in their house. He stormed out the door without a word and didn’t call or text him until the next day. Hajime was a mess, he screamed at himself, he blamed himself for driving Tooru away.

The next day, Tooru came back, letting Hajime cling on to him as he sobbed and apologized. Tooru knew that he should be the one apologizing but his pride was too big for that, so he casually accepted the apologies.

“It was a mistake to yell at you, I’m so sorry, Tooru.” Hajime cried.

Tooru smiled, “It’s ok, Hajime. Mistakes happen.”

_ They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. That could be a load of shit but I just need to tell you all- _

Hajime always believed that it’s was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved anyone at all. He believed in it wholeheartedly, especially when Tooru came into the picture. Hajime loved him so much, it made his ribs ache and his stomach burn with anxiety. He always feared that he wasn’t good enough for him. Tooru was so much, too much even. He was blinding.

But he wasn’t the sun, Hajime already knew that.

But as the days went by and he and Tooru got a divorce, he found himself wishing that he had never fallen in love with Tooru. He decided that he’d rather die then go through any of that shit again. 

He no longer believed that the love he felt was worth any of the pain he experienced.

_ Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay. You can think that you're in love when you're really just engaged. Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay. In the end it's better for me. That’s _ _ the moral of the story. _

Mistakes, Hajime made many of them.

Meeting Oikawa Tooru was a mistake, dating Oikawa Tooru was a mistake, getting engaged to Oikawa Tooru was a mistake, marrying Oikawa Tooru was a mistake. 

Falling in love with Oikawa Tooru was a mistake.

But like it was mentioned before, Tooru is a black hole. He sucks in every source of life and warmth, making it disappear forever. He’s so fucking beautiful and captivating and Hajime was weak. He was so weak and heart broken. He needed someone, someone better for him but he chose to peruse Tooru. Because Hajime didn’t see the black hole that everyone else did, when he looked at Tooru, he saw the sun. Gorgeous but deadly.

He was always being burned by Tooru but he didn’t care, the burning let him feeling something. And soon enough, he was engulfed entirely by Tooru’s flames. 

Tooru was burning too, smoke seeped through the cracks in his facade, choking Hajime. It was messy and unhealthy but Hajime didn’t let go, he didn’t put out the flames. He let himself burn because he loved Tooru more than anything.

_ Some mistakes get made, that’s alright, that’s ok.  _

“Hi, I’m Oikawa!”

“Im Iwaizumi!”

“Oooo! Can I call you Iwa-chan?!”

“Huh? Uh sure.”

_ You can think that you’re in love when you’re really just in pain. _

“Mattsun, Im in love with Oikawa. There’s no doubt in my mind that I am. I know Daichi and I just ended things but I know that this is right! I’m in love with Oikawa!”

“If that’s what you really want, then I won’t stop you. Just please be careful.”

“I will.”

_Some mistakes get made, that’s alright, that’s ok, in the end it’s better for me, that’s the moral of the story, babe_.

“Did you even love me at all?”

“No.”

“Then why did you say that you did?”

“It was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, Tooru. Mistakes happen, right?”

“...Right.”


End file.
